Welcome to RenewHer, a podcast for women over 50 ready to reignite their energy and explore what's next. I'm Genell Lemley, brain fitness coach. Here, you'll hear real stories from women taking on new challenges after 50, along with brain health tips to boost focus, energy, and the mindset to move forward with confidence.
Let's dive into today's episode.
Welcome to a RenewHer Reflections episode where I share personal stories and real-life moments that have shaped how I think, lead, and grow. Have you ever talked yourself out of something? Not because you weren't capable, not because you weren't qualified, but because you weren't sure you were good enough.
Have you ever let fear make the decision? I know I have. And when I look back over my life, I realize this pattern started much earlier than I thought. I can't point to a single event that caused it. No one told me I wasn't enough. No one told me I didn't belong. Somehow, I just decided that for myself.
I remember being in elementary school and taking beginner swim lessons not once, not twice, three times. And not because I failed. I passed every time. But I didn't think I knew it well enough.
I wasn't confident enough in myself to move on. And I wonder if you've ever done something similar. Maybe not with swim lessons, but perhaps you've stayed in the beginner lane longer than you needed to. Not because you weren't capable, but because you didn't trust yourself enough to move forward.
Looking back now, I smile at that little girl, but I also realize something. That pattern didn't end with swim lessons. It followed me. In high school, we had an area called Jock Foyer. It was where the athletes and the popular kids gathered between classes. I was involved in sports too, but I never felt like I belonged there.
No one told me I couldn't go there. No one excluded me. I simply didn't think I belonged. There was an invisible barrier, and I created it myself. Maybe your version wasn't a jock foyer. Maybe it was the boardroom. Maybe it was a social circle. Maybe it was starting a business. Maybe it was applying for a promotion. Maybe no one told you that you didn't belong, but somehow you convinced yourself that everyone else deserved to be there more than you did.
What's interesting is that most people probably didn't know how I felt. I appeared confident. I did well in school. I stayed involved, but underneath was this quiet voice whispering, "You're not enough."
And maybe no one knows that's how you feel either. For years, I thought I was the only one. I looked around and assumed everyone else was confident. Everyone else seemed to know what they were doing. Everyone else appeared so sure of themselves. Meanwhile, I was questioning myself, second-guessing myself, wondering if I was the only one with an inner critic. Especially in the corporate world, you didn't talk about those things. You certainly didn't share them with your manager, and honestly, not even with your peers. What would they think? Would they question your abilities? Would they think less of you? So, I kept those thoughts to myself.
It wasn't until I left corporate and began surrounding myself with other entrepreneurs that I realized something surprising: I wasn't alone. These incredibly smart, successful women were willing to admit that they struggled with self-doubt, too. They questioned themselves. They worried they weren't doing enough. They wondered if they were good enough. And I remember thinking, "Wait a minute, you feel this too?"
Maybe you've had that realization as well. Maybe you've spent years believing you were the only one, the only one who felt uncertain, the only one who worried about getting it wrong, the only one with an inner critic whispering in your ear.
But perhaps we're much more alike than we realize. Maybe people look at you and see confidence, capability, success, strength, and yet there's a part of you that quietly wonders, "Am I really enough?"
Even later in life, I chose not to pursue my master's degree. Looking back now, it was not because I wasn't capable. I had been on the dean's list all but my last semester of college, and when I didn't make it that final semester, I was crushed. It stayed with me for a long time. I had studied so hard. How could I let that happen? And I remember thinking, "What if I can't live up to my expectations? What would people think?" So, I didn't pursue it.
Self-doubt made the decision. Have you ever done that? Talked yourself out of something, not because you lacked the ability, but because you were afraid of falling short?
When I look back over my life, I realize there were many decisions shaped by fear and self-doubt. Again, not because I lacked ability, but I didn't see it that way then. It was because I lacked trust in myself, and maybe that's really what this episode is about, self-trust.
People might wonder how someone who struggles with an inner critic can host a podcast. Honestly, podcasting feels natural to me. When I was growing up, I actually wanted to be a broadcaster. Maybe this is my way of fulfilling that dream. I love it. It feels aligned.
But promoting myself, asking for business, reaching out to connect with people on LinkedIn, putting programs I created out into the world, those things are harder for me. And that's where the inner critic gets loud.
I started creating a course once, and then I questioned everything. Would anyone find it valuable? Was it good enough? Who was I to teach this? Hello, imposter syndrome. And eventually, I stopped, not because I couldn't do it, but because I listened to the voice.
Perhaps you've done that, too. Started something and stopped, not because you couldn't do it, but because you questioned yourself, because perfection became the enemy of progress. I wonder how many decisions fear has made for us over the years, not just the big ones, the little ones. The friendship we didn't initiate, the business we didn't start, the promotion we didn't pursue, the opportunity we talked ourselves out of, the dream we put on hold, the conversation we avoided. Again, not because we weren't capable, but because we doubted ourselves. And maybe we didn't even realize fear was making the decision.
Now, if you're hoping I'm about to tell you that the inner critic completely disappeared, I'm sorry to disappoint you. At sixty-four years old, it's still there. I still hear it, but I don't believe everything it says anymore. I've learned to recognize it sooner. I've learned that thoughts aren't facts. I've learned that confidence doesn't come before action. Confidence comes after action. And I've learned that courage isn't the absence of fear. It's moving forward even when fear is sitting beside you. Maybe courage isn't silencing the voice. Maybe it's refusing to hand it the microphone.
I don't know what your inner critic sounds like. Maybe yours says, "You're too old. You're not qualified. People will judge you. Who do you think you are? You'll fail. Somebody else can do it better." Whatever it says, I hope you'll remember something. Self-doubt isn't wisdom, and that voice doesn't deserve the final vote.
If I could sit beside that little girl taking swim lessons for the third time, I'd tell her this: You don't have to know everything before you begin. You don't have to be perfect to move forward. You don't have to earn your worth, and you certainly don't have to repeat the lesson three times because you're afraid you missed something.
Trust yourself. You've always been more capable than you believed, and maybe the greatest lesson I'm still learning today is that I can trust myself, not because I've conquered fear, not because I've silenced the inner critic, but because I've learned that I don't have to wait until I feel confident. I just have to take the next step.
And maybe that's true for you, too, Because perhaps the question isn't will I ever stop doubting myself? Maybe the better question is, will I trust myself enough to move forward anyway? And if you're listening today, maybe that's all it has to be, just the next step.
Thanks for joining me for this RenewHer reflection. Until next time, take the next step.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of RenewHer. If today's conversation sparked something in you, don't let it fade. Take even a small step toward what's next. If you found value in what you heard, please subscribe, leave a review, or share this podcast with a woman who's ready to take her next bold step.
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