Many of us have experienced moments when making even simple decisions feels surprisingly difficult. Maybe you've stared at a restaurant menu for ten minutes. Maybe you've spent thirty minutes scrolling Netflix and never picked anything. Or maybe you've agonized for weeks over changing jobs, moving, retiring, or making a major purchase.
Many people assume they're simply indecisive, and sometimes chronic indecisiveness can become part of our personality. We may describe ourselves as perfectionists, overthinkers, or people who need more certainty before making a choice. But decision-making is more than personality. It's influenced by our brain health, our personality and learned patterns, and the situation itself.
Welcome to RenewHer, a podcast for women over 50 ready to reignite their energy and explore what's next. I'm Genell Lemley, brain fitness coach. Here, you'll hear real stories from women taking on new challenges after 50, along with brain health tips to boost focus, energy, and the mindset to move forward with confidence.
Let's dive into today's episode.
Hello, and welcome back to the RenewHer podcast. My friends tease me because I am always the last one ready to place my order when we go out to eat. I can't decide. I always ask the waiter questions because I don't wanna make the wrong choice and be disappointed with what I order.
My husband and I went out for sushi last weekend, and there were pages and pages of choices. My brain went into overwhelm. And just a few days ago, three couples went out for breakfast, and I found myself vacillating between two choices. It's just breakfast, for goodness sakes. It's become a joke. One of our friends jokingly said, "You should do a podcast about decision-making."
And as I reflected on that, I thought, "Hmm, that's actually a great idea." So if he's listening, this episode is for him. Thanks for the idea.
Many of us have experienced moments when making even simple decisions feels surprisingly difficult. Maybe you've stared at a restaurant menu for 10 minutes. Maybe you've spent 30 minutes scrolling Netflix and never picked anything. Or maybe you've agonized for weeks over changing jobs, moving, retiring, or making a major purchase.
Many people assume they're simply indecisive, and sometimes chronic indecisiveness can become part of our personality. We may describe ourselves as perfectionists , overthinkers or people who need more certainty before making a choice. But decision-making is more than personality. It's influenced by our brain health, our personality, learned patterns, and the situation itself.
Today, we're going to explore why some decisions feel so difficult, why some people seem to make decisions effortlessly, and what we can do to become better decision-makers.
Let's start with why decisions matter. Most of us don't realize how many decisions we make every day. Researchers estimate we make thousands of decisions daily. Some are conscious, and many happen automatically. Should I hit snooze or get up? What should I wear? Should I answer this email now or later? Should I exercise? Should I speak up in that meeting? Should I retire? Should I move? Some decisions are small. Others change the course of our lives.
And here's something interesting. Every yes is also a no. When you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to something else. If you say yes to staying late at work, you may be saying no to family time. If you say yes to scrolling social media, you may be saying no to reading, exercising, or getting to bed earlier. If you say yes to a new opportunity, you may be saying no to staying comfortable.
Life is full of trade-offs, and over time, our lives are largely shaped by our decisions. This makes decision-making one of the most important things our brains do.
So now let's look at how our brain systems can influence our decisions. Decision-making involves multiple brain systems. The first system is the prefrontal cortex, often called the brain's CEO. This area helps with planning, judgment, prioritization, and consideration of consequences.
When it's tired, stressed, inflamed, sleep-deprived, or simply not functioning optimally, people may overthink simple choices, feel mentally stuck, need excessive reassurance, take a long time to decide. The brain has to weigh options, and if the CEO is fatigued, even deciding between chicken or salmon can feel overwhelming.
Then there are the basal ganglia, the system involved in anxiety and habit patterns. When they're overactive, people often worry about making the wrong choices, second-guess themselves, imagine worst-case scenarios, feel pressure to make the perfect decision. Instead of thinking, "Both salads look good," the mind starts asking, "What if I don't like it? What if I should have ordered something healthier? What if everyone else ordered something better?" The issue isn't the menu, it's the fear of making the wrong choice.
The third brain system involved is the anterior cingulate gyrus, known as the brain's gear shifter. When it becomes overactive, people might get stuck between options, analyze endlessly, need some information before deciding, revisit the same thoughts repeatedly. You might hear yourself saying, "I can't decide. Give me another minute. What are you getting? Maybe I'll just have what you're having." Sound familiar?
And finally, there is the limbic system, which influences mood, emotions, and motivation. When mood is low, people often lose interest in deciding altogether. They simply say, "I don't care. You decide." Sometimes that's not laziness. Sometimes it's low brain energy.
Now that we've looked at how the brain systems can influence our decisions, let's take a look at why decisions become hard. Here are a few reasons. The situation matters. Stress, poor sleep, blood sugar swings, information overload, decision fatigue. All of these drain the brain's resources. By the end of the day, after making hundreds or thousands of decisions, the brain gets tired, and that's why deciding what to make for dinner can sometimes feel harder than solving a problem at work.
Now, let's shift to those who can make decisions easily. Have you ever wondered why one person can glance at a menu and order in 30 seconds, while someone else, like me, studies it for 10 minutes? It doesn't mean one person is smarter than the other. And while personality certainly plays a role, it isn't the whole story.
Some people are naturally more perfectionistic. Some have a greater fear of failure. Some are less comfortable with uncertainty. Those personality traits absolutely contribute to indecision, but personality isn't the entire explanation. Brain health, stress, anxiety, sleep, and even blood sugar influence how easily we make decisions.
People who make decisions more easily tend to tolerate uncertainty. They don't need guarantees. They think, I'll make the best decision I can with the information I have," not, "I need to know for sure." They don't expect perfection. They're looking for a good decision, not a perfect decision.
They trust themselves, not because they think they'll always be right, but because they believe that even if they make the wrong choice, they'll figure it out. They also tend to simplify their lives and conserve their mental energy for decisions that truly matter.
The good news is that we can become better decision-makers. Protect your brain. Sleep, exercise, manage stress, stabilize blood sugar, and recognize that not all decisions deserve the same amount of mental effort. For big decisions, let your values guide you. Ask, "Does this align with my goals? Does this align with the person I want to become? Will I regret not doing this?" Values help simplify important decisions.
But for small decisions, stop trying to optimize. Not every decision deserves fifteen minutes of analysis. Sometimes good enough really is good enough. When you're staring at a menu or scrolling Netflix, remind yourself, "I'm not choosing my future. I'm choosing breakfast." Most small decisions aren't permanent. You can order something different next time. You can watch another movie tomorrow. You can always adjust. Limit your options, set a time limit, and save your brainpower for the decisions that truly matter because not all decisions deserve equal brainpower.
We often judge ourselves harshly when decisions feel difficult. We assume we're indecisive, weak, or simply wired that way. And yes, some of us may naturally lean toward perfectionism, overthinking, or wanting more certainty before making a choice, but personality is only part of the story. Decision-making is also influenced by stress, sleep, anxiety, mood, brain energy, and the health of the brain itself, which is good news because while we may not be able to change every aspect of our personality, we can support the brain behind our decisions.
And perhaps one of the healthiest things we can do is stop demanding perfection. Not all decisions deserve equal brain power. So the next time you find yourself agonizing over breakfast or spending twenty minutes scrolling Netflix, remind yourself, "I'm not choosing my future, I'm choosing breakfast." And then decide.
This week I'm going to practice something simple. When I catch myself overthinking a small decision, I'll pause, notice it, and choose. And if you want to join me, try it in your own life this week.
Until next time, remember, not all decisions need to be hard.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of RenewHer. If today's conversation sparked something in you, don't let it fade. Take even a small step toward what's next. If you found value in what you heard, please subscribe, leave a review, or share this podcast with a woman who's ready to take her next bold step.
Together, we're building a community of strong, resilient women navigating what's next with courage and purpose. Until next time, stay energized and keep embracing what's possible.