Welcome to RenewHer, a podcast for women over 50 ready to reignite their energy and explore what's next. I'm Genell Lemley, brain fitness coach. Here, you'll hear real stories from women taking on new challenges after 50, along with brain health tips to boost focus, energy, and the mindset to move forward with confidence.
Let's dive into today's episode.
Welcome to the first episode in my new short series called RenewHer Reflections. These episodes are a little different from my regular episodes. They're shorter, more personal, and a chance for me to share thoughts and experiences that have been on my mind.
A couple of weeks ago, I released an episode about connection and its impact on our brains. We often think of connection as a nice-to-have, but the truth is, meaningful relationships are essential to our well-being. They help us manage stress, improve resilience, and remind us that we don't have to navigate life alone. Last night, I was reminded of that episode when I went out to dinner with three friends I've known since junior high.
We have known each other for about 50 years. At one point during dinner, we actually stopped and acknowledged it. We looked around the table and said, "We've known each other for 50 years. It can't be." When I say it out loud, it's hard to comprehend. Over those 50 years, we've all lived entire lives. We've built careers, raised families, experienced successes and disappointments, celebrated milestones, and endured losses. There were many years that we weren't in contact. Life happened, careers happened, marriage happened, children happened.
A couple of us stayed connected periodically through email, but we had drifted apart in many ways. A couple of years ago, we intentionally reconnected, and what surprised me most was how quickly we picked up where we left off.
It was as if no time had passed. I think that's because our friendships were built on something deeper than proximity or frequency. These were friendships formed during our formative years. We grew up together. We knew each other before careers, before titles, before responsibilities. And perhaps most importantly, we always felt safe with each other.
As someone who talks a lot about brain health, I often remind people that the brain is constantly scanning for safety. Safety isn't just physical, it's emotional, too. Safety is being able to tell the truth about what's happening in your life. It's not needing to perform. It's knowing you won't be judged. It's being able to admit that things feel hard. It's being known completely and accepted anyway.
That's what these friendships feel like, and maybe that's why last night felt so special. We laughed a lot. We shared stories from the past and relived memories that only people who have known you for decades can appreciate. We even learned things about each other that somehow never came up all those years ago.
But alongside the laughter were some very real conversation. As we talked, I was reminded how much this season of life has changed the conversations we have. Years ago, we might have spent the evening talking about young children, school activities, or busy careers.
Their children are grown and building lives of their own, but now many find themselves helping aging parents through health challenges, increasing care needs, and difficult life transitions. So many of my friends, including each of the women sitting around the table, were either currently caring for a parent or had recently walked through the illness decline and eventual loss of one or both parents.
Our conversations now are different. They often revolve around doctor's appointments, assisted living decisions, memory care facilities, in-home caregivers, medications, legal documents, meals, transportation, and trying to honor a parent's wishes. Listening to them, I was reminded of how much caregiving requires. It's emotional. It's logistical. It's uncertain. And it's often invisible to everyone except the people living it.
Years ago, my sister and I went through this with our own parents. Because our parents were older, we entered that season earlier than many of my friends. One thing I wasn't prepared for was how much time it would consume. Not just the appointments or the decisions, but the mental load, the constant thinking, the planning, the worrying, the adapting. Even when you're not actively doing something, a part of your brain is still working on it.
And if you're also working, managing a household, and trying to maintain your own health, it can feel overwhelming. If you're listening and you're in that season right now, I wanna tell you something. It's okay to admit that it's hard. It's okay to admit that it feels like too much sometimes.
You can love your parents deeply and still feel exhausted. You can be grateful for the opportunity to help and still feel overwhelmed. Those things can exist at the same time.
And if that's where you are, please don't try to carry it all by yourself. Reach out to people you trust. Share what's really going on. Let people support you because caregiving places tremendous stress on the mind and body. Many people spend months or even years in a constant state of stress, and that's exactly why self-care isn't selfish. It's necessary.
I often think about the instruction we hear before every flight. Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others, not because you're more important, but because you can't effectively care for someone else if you've completely depleted yourself.
Last night reminded me of something else, too. As important as caregiving is, we also need moments of joy. We need laughter. We need stories. We need connection. As I drove home, I found myself thinking about how fortunate I am to have these women in my life. Women who have known me for 50 years, women who have seen every version of me, women who remind me that I don't have to carry life's challenges by myself.
And for anyone listening who has lost touch with an old friend, consider this your gentle nudge. Reach out. Send the text. Make the call. Schedule the lunch or the coffee date. You may discover what I discovered a couple of years ago. It's not too late. They may be hoping to hear from you, too.
Relationships don't always disappear because the connection was lost. Sometimes they simply get buried beneath the responsibilities of life. But when we intentionally reconnect, something remarkable can happen. We remember who we are. We remember where we've been. And we realize we don't have to navigate this season of life alone. That's what last night reminded me. We all need people who help us carry the joys and burdens of life. We're better together.
Thank you for joining me for this RenewHer Reflection. Until next time, take care of your brain, take care of yourself, and don't forget to nurture the relationships that help you do both.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of RenewHer. If today's conversation sparked something in you, don't let it fade. Take even a small step toward what's next. If you found value in what you heard, please subscribe, leave a review, or share this podcast with a woman who's ready to take her next bold step.
Together, we're building a community of strong, resilient women, navigating what's next with courage and purpose. Until next time, stay energized and keep embracing what's possible.