If you've ever started the year feeling excited and motivated only to feel discouraged or frustrated by February, you're not alone. And you may be surprised to know that your willpower is probably not the problem.
Welcome to RenewHer, a podcast for women over 50 ready to reignite their energy and explore what's next. I'm Genell Lemley, brain Fitness coach. Here you'll hear real stories from women taking on new challenges after 50, along with brain health tips to boost focus, energy, and the mindset to move forward with confidence.
Let's dive into today's episode. Every January we're surrounded by talk of New Year's resolutions. More than likely, you've had somebody maybe come up to you and ask you, What's your New Year's resolutions this year? Do you make New Year's resolutions? I know that happens to me.
We're told this is the moment to finally change New Year, new you.
And I'm gonna be honest, I don't love that. Not because I don't believe in change, but because resolutions are often vague, pressure-filled promises that don't give your brain a clear path forward.
Let me ask you something. What is actually magical about January one? From a brain perspective, nothing resets overnight. Your brain doesn't change just because the calendar flips. What does matter is clarity, repetition, and alignment with your values. Change can start on January 12th or March 3rd, or today, for that matter.
Today, I wanna offer you a different way forward, one that's grounded in how your brain actually works. One that replaces resolutions with goals that feel realistic, aligned, and sustainable.
Let's start by clarifying the difference between a resolution and a goal. A resolution is a firm decision or promise to do or not to do something. Their broad, general and intention based think, I will be more productive, or I want to get healthier.
A goal, on the other hand, is the actionable, measurable, and time-bound steps that turn that resolution into reality. For example, instead of saying, I wanna get healthier, a goal might be, I will exercise three times a week and eat two servings of vegetables each day. In short, a resolution is the big idea and goals are the concrete steps that make it happen.
Without goals, resolutions remain just wishful thinking. If you've ever started the year feeling excited and motivated only to feel discouraged or frustrated by February, you're not alone and you may be surprised to know that your willpower is probably not the problem. Let's look more closely at why so many resolutions fail.
Most people abandon them by the second Friday in January. Sometimes called Quitter's Day. Resolutions usually fail because they clash with how your brain actually functions. First, many resolutions demand perfection. Many resolutions are built on the all-or-nothing mentality. This triggers stress and self-judgment when we inevitably slip up.
Maybe you've decided you'll work out five days a week, eat no sugar, or meditate every morning. Miss one day, you feel like a failure. And more than likely you quit.
Another reason they fail is due to vague or unreasonable expectations that don't align with how your brain works. I wanna get healthier.
Sounds good, but without specific actionable steps, it's almost impossible to follow through. If your goal is too unrealistic, it often backfires. Vague resolutions don't give your brain a clear roadmap without measurable steps. Your brain can't predict success, which lowers motivation. Unrealistic goals activate your brain's threat response, making willpower fade quickly.
A third reason is that many are based on external factors rather than personal desire. Many resolutions are influenced by trends, family, or societal expectations rather than your own values. These external pressures don't engage what's referred to as your intrinsic motivation, which the brain needs to stay committed, making follow through that much harder. Your goal needs to align with what truly matters to you. That's what engages your intrinsic motivation and makes follow through much easier.
So how do we make change stick? Here are six tips to help you create goals that are realistic, aligned, and easier to follow through.
First, keep it simple. Do you often come up with a long list of resolutions? This could be a big reason you struggle to follow through. Spreading yourself too thin makes it almost impossible to succeed. Pick your one big goal, the one that will take the most energy and focus. Being realistic with your goals reduces willpower struggles. From a brain perspective, focusing on one priority at a time prevents overload in your working memory, reduces stress, and keeps motivation strong.
Second, set bite-sized goals. Break a big goal into measurable, trackable mini goals. Start small, one serving of vegetables a day if you haven't been doing any. Two gym sessions a week, if maybe you've just been going on a walk every now and then. Check in regularly and adjust as you go. This works with your brain because each mini goal you achieve triggers dopamine, reinforcing the habit and motivating continued success.
Third, reward your progress. Celebrate small wins along the way. Take a walk, enjoy a favorite activity or get a massage. Rewards strengthen positive reinforcement loops, making habits more enjoyable and more likely to stick.
Fourth. Write down your goals. Keep them visible to stay accountable. Journaling helps you see patterns and identify self-sabotage. Writing engages memory circuits, and visual reminders that increase focus, commitment, and follow through.
Fifth, use affirmations daily affirmations, reinforce your goals and remind your brain change is possible. Keep them simple, like I eat a healthy diet, or I am calm under pressure. Affirmations, help rewire beliefs and strengthen neural pathways that support the desired behavior.
And finally, sixth, accept slipups. Setbacks happen. They're part of the process, not signs of failure When you slip, learn from it and adjust your approach. Accepting slipups reduces stress and negative self-talk, allowing you to stay motivated rather than triggering the brain's threat response.
As we wrap up, remember, meaningful change doesn't come from pressure or perfection. It comes from clarity, consistency, and self-compassion. You don't need a long list of resolutions. You don't need to overhaul your life overnight, and you don't need January one to give you permission to begin, focus on one goal, break it into small, achievable steps. Let progress, not perfection, be the win.
Instead of setting vague resolutions in 2026, I'm focusing on creating specific actionable goals that are realistic, align with my values and achievable step-by-step goals that actually work with my brain rather than against it.
And remember, success starts with your brain. Nourish it, move it, calm it, align it, connect it, rest it, strengthen it, and renew it.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Renew Her. If today's conversation sparks something in you, don't let it fade. Take even a small step toward what's next. If you've found value in what you heard, please subscribe, leave a review or share this podcast with a woman who's ready to take her next bold step.
Together we're building a community of strong, resilient women navigating what's next with courage and purpose. Until next time, stay energized and keep embracing what's possible.